I have returned! So sorry I'm behind once again; I've succumbed to a darn cold that started as tonsillitis, plus I was in charge at work all week since the bosses were gone. I can't tell you how fun that was.
Anyway, last time, Lana and Darian both had birthdays and I suspect Piper is pregnant with another possible heir. Let's dive right in!
What is this mess?!
I don't even...where did it come from?!
I do too.
Of course these birthdays mean I better get another bed besides a crib so Lana has a place to sleep. Thank you University for your bed-assigning!
And yes, I got bunk beds because I'll probably need them. :D
So I thought now would be a good time to play around with some of the other features in the game that I haven't explored yet. First thing I did? Check under Lana's new bed for monsters. And witness EA's bad grammar: Lana wished to get "a Easel." Grammar Nazi alert, but it's supposed to be AN easel. You can't start a word with a vowel if the word before was "a". Just...never mind.
So here's Lana checking for monsters:
What's scarier? The monsters or the fact that she's walking around with pee stains/smell still on her?
Apparently there are monsters since she got a lot of negative moodlets from that.
OMG really?! She already did that once today and still has the smell to prove it. Now she did it again! I spy a trend developing...
Meanwhile, someone put Darian in her walker and she's enjoying it greatly.
Darian: "I'm going to break or dislocate my ankle but that's okay, this is so fun!"
The camera then zoomed in on Piper. Why? Oh, I wonder...
Here's another feature I was eager to try out:
Lana: "Mom, get out of the way! I'm coming down, I'm hungry, and I'm going to plow into you! Also, my the wall is eating my arm!"
Piper: "Where's that husband of mine? I think he's dumped enough sperm in me to last a lifetime at this point."
Piper and Richard both still have their wish to have a son. Piper, however, rolled a wish to have a girl as well. So either way, she wins! But I'm hoping for a boy this time. *crosses fingers but doesn't use cheats*
And here we have Richard, sleeping with a pile of filth in his bedroom, dreaming of baby bottles.
Seems legit. >.<
Time for Lana's first day of school! Of course I was enjoying that until I got a warning that there was only one day left to pay the bills. So I pay the bills and am left with the grand total of $33. Awesome.
No, no it isn't, Damon.
I don't know what it is with this family, but whenever someone's need is in the red and they have a negative moodlet, their solution is to play with the dog.
I then got a notification saying that Richard was in such a bad mood that he transformed into a werewolf at work. Awesome, I didn't even know that was possible in this game. And then the notification said that Richard has the desire to used the cursed bite on other Sims and transform them into werewolf pack mates. Duck in cover!
Yes Richard, you should. The last thing you need is a pack. Stupid breeds stupid, and stupid also leads stupid. How coincidental that it's also a full moon...
Oh, great Richard. Absolutely brilliant. You ditch work because you transformed into a werewolf and you SET THE DAMN HOUSE ON FIRE!!!
You stupid idiot!!! OMG!!!
Richard: "OMG it's so scary! We're all going to die! Will I die from fire or starvation?!"
Piper: "Dafuq? I can't leave you alone for a minute. I'm trying to feed our hungry toddler and you burn the damn pancakes!"
THIS IS MADNESS!
Richard, you're a werewolf, NOT Frankenstein. You shouldn't be afraid of fire. How about you grab an extinguisher? This is why I'm glad I bought a smoke alarm...I knew this would happen.
Okay, yeah, the stove fire is out but there's still some flames on the floor. Perhaps you should aim for those?
Extinguishing flames...you're doing it wrong.
The extinguisher is supposed to make the flames smaller, not bigger.
I should just let him die. That would make an interesting part of the story; yay for a ghost! But alas, the firemen arrived, but they were too late. By the time they showed up, the fire was out. So then insurance granted the family $120 to replace the fire-damaged stuff. Insert new stove here!
Of course, I can't sell a damaged one for money, so all I can do is replace it with an exact replica...or not. It takes $400 to do that and the household has $306. I really need to find a way to make more money in this game.
Fabulous. So now they have no stove and are probably all going to starve to death. Just terrific.
I sent Richard back to work, and I told him to power work, but apparently he was too unhappy to work hard. Good God what a turd...So he sucked up to the boss instead. Well, he does have the Schmoozer trait.
Piper was hungry so I made her have a quick meal; at least that can be done. New food - brain freeze a la mode. Never seen it before...but it appears to be exactly what the name implies.
Piper: "I'm so hungry and desperate that I'm going to eat a brain."
Again, the zombie apocalypse is upon us!
Anyone know what movie that's from? No? Well you're missing out! :p
Awesome, Richard earned a whole $58 from working. That'll really help get the new stove.../facepalm
Richard: "What stinks in here?"
That would be you. Even your wife is fleeing in a frightened, grossed out stupor.
Lana's first day of school went good. Except she got allergies...yuck. I know the feeling (though I don't have allergies, I have a cold).
I figured since both of her parents are upstairs sleeping like idiots, why not use one of the coolest features of Generations - pranks? :D
Lana...the dog saw everything.
So then I told her to do her homework. Doesn't she look thrilled?
She got 9% done before she started raging about being tired. But what does she do? Again, as is customary for this family, she doesn't go to bed...she plays with the dog.
As she does that, Richard saunters into the kitchen. *waits anxiously for the prank to get his sorry ass* Serves him right, trying to burn down the house.
Somehow he made salad without screwing it up...although, this is a close second.
Classy Richard, classy. Here, have a free bath for your bad manners, courtesy of your oldest child (or rather, your oldest child with THIS wife):
HAHA! Victory is mine (and Lana's)! Piper's just playing with the dog back there, and now it smells like wet dog in here. Yum.
I guess it's true that being pregnant can sometimes increase your libido, because Piper rolled the wish to woohoo with Richard. Okay then. Go nuts.
Of course, Richard wouldn't do anything in the shower unless it was clean (which would explain why he wasn't a woohoo option for Piper, yet some creepy old lady was...yikes), so I had him clean it.
Now if only I had some other woohoo method in here...I can't afford a treehouse and there are no leaves or snow for a leaf pile or igloo.
Uh...hold that thought.
I guess Richard isn't in the mood.
Richard: "Oh baby no, not tonight please, I'm still scared shitless from that fire. I won't be able to perform my duties as a man if I'm thinking about that."
Piper: "Then stop thinking about it. Do you have any idea how rare/hard it is to have time to woohoo with two kids in the house and a third (or more) on the way?! They're both asleep for God's sake! I'm a woman! I have needs!"
Also, what's up with Piper's outfit? Those are Kenzie's pajama bottoms for one, and two...they don't match!
So Piper tried to seduce Richard once again, this time in the bed. I guess Richard really doesn't want it since he rejected her again. His age must be catching up to him.
WHOA! I didn't get a picture of it but I seriously saw his leg kick her thigh! I totally saw it! I didn't know it could happen or I would have snapped a picture! Wow, domestic violence! Someone call the fuzz!
And on that note, I'll leave this chapter off with that very disturbing spousal abuse that I have no evidence of but did totally see happen. Until next time!